A Study in Fangirls (Gizoogled)
by Spark Writer
Summary: I decided to gizoogle one of my fanfictions. This is what happened.


_A/N: So I was bored and decided to Gizoogle one of my Sherlock fanfictions. This one seemed like an obvious decision. :) I hope you find this as gut bustingly hilarious as I did! Gangsta' Sherlock is the BEST._

_INDEX:_

1. Da Johnlock Shipper

2. Da Moripartier

3. Da Vehemently Slash Opposed Stickler

4. Da Fetishy Weirdo

5. Da Scornful Fusspot

6. Da Laugh Impregnated Fangirl

7. Da Animal!lock Shipper

8. Da Intellectual Fangirl

9. Da Explicatory Speechmaker

10. Da Skull!lock Shipper

11. Da Mystrade Shipper

12. Da Shipless Shipper Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Secretly Ships

13. Da Purposeful Misspeller

14. Da Jizzy Watson Hater

15. Da Psychotic Sheriarty Fanatic

16. Da Great Defender

17. Da Perverted Pervert

18. Da Cloyingly Optimistic Fangirl

19. Da Trippin Grandmutha

20. Da Body Language Expert

21. Da Screamer/Blind Individual

22. Da Shipper of Inanimate Object Pairings

23. Da Normal Person

_NOTES:_

**Da Johnlock Shipper**

Typical Comment:

"Asdfghjkl *flails*"

Or:

"I SHIP IT. I SHIP IT HARD. THIS IS CUTE. OH MY GOD. I'M GONNA CRY. OH MY GOSH. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIPSHIP OH MY GOSH HOLY CRAP KISS KISS KISS IT WAS SO MEANT TO BE"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Is She?

For some peculiar reason, tha _Johnlock_ shipper believes wit religious conviction dat Jizzy n' I would be mo' betta off as a gangbangin' full-blown couple, names smashed together up in disastrous bisyllabic marriage. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch likes ta be thinkin of her muthafuckin ass as a enlightened horny-ass up in a ghetto full of blind skeptics, n' wishes mah playas round her ta adsorb her logic. This thug often refers ta mah relationshizzle wit Jizzy as "flawless," or "OMFG."

**Da Moripartier**

Typical Comment:

"Pleeeeeaaaaase!"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Is She?

The_ Moripartier_ iz of tha irrational, revoltin opinion dat Jim Moriarty is tha sexiest playa kickin it, n' dear god wouldn't she like ta run her fingers all up in his hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch often fantasizes bout gropin tha consultin criminal n' keeps gum up in her pocket on most occasions fo' realz. A particularly feral n' obsessed sort of fangirl; I shall give her a wide berth.

**Da Vehemently Slash Opposed Stickler**

Typical Comment:

"Why do playas always gotta cross dat line n' make EVERYTHING up in Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Watsonz Snoop Bloggy-Blogg bout Johnlock, biatch? it straight-up takes away from tha effort Doctor Watson puts tha fuck into tha blogs n' ta just make they whole game bout Johnlock, n' all tha subtext they blithely seem ta be thinkin exists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Jizzy."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Is She?

Yo, she believes strictly up in male-male thangs, probably fo' one of two reasons: Dat hoe either homophobic, or be thinkin dat anythang past tha platonic would fuck up tha pre-existin thang. From mah experience, however, her big-ass booty still obsesses over tha thang wit frightenin enthusiasm; like dat is why it is entitled playa_ship._

**Da Fetishy Weirdo**

Typical Comment:

"OH GAWD THE CHEEKBONES OH MY GOD"

Or, similarly disturbing:

"Sherlock yo' arse I CAN'T"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Da _Fetishy Weirdo _focuses her affections on a singular part of mah anatomy, lavishin it wit verbose compliments, often namin it, n' rockin reamz of capital lettas n' mad disturbin emoticons ta express her muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is incredibly unrestrained bout articulatin her fondnizz fo' Holmesian bodily parts n' on occasion, crosses tha fuck into tha dark ether of number 17.

**Da Scornful Fusspot**

Typical Comment:

"How tha fuck could u be thinkin they is together, biatch? dis is da most thugged-out shitty pairin since Hagrid/Buckbeak, open yo' eyes playas biaaatch! Jizzy be always sayin up in tha blogs how tha fuck Sherlock be annoyed at his muthafuckin ass. u be thinkin dat romantic?

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Scornful Fusspot _likes ta be thinkin of her muthafuckin ass as tha jaded cynic up in a ghetto full of gullible lemmings, determined ta be a funky-ass burnin light of truth up in a cold-ass lil chaotic ghetto of lies, tall talez n' desperately imagined horny-ass chemistry. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is stupidly critical, bothersome n' often followed by comments like fuckin tha shatteringly eloquent, "Shut yo' goddamn face, you non-lock believer!"

**Da Laugh Impregnated Fangirl**

Typical Comment:

"That laugh…I be thinkin I just gots pregnant from dat laugh."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Yo, her ass is utterly unversed up in reproductizzle knowledge, n' believes dat mah erection ta [John's] humour will allow her ta conceive on tha spot. I notice dat she names dis mind-baby Hamish up in nuff instances, n' leaves further comments such as, "Do you wanna hold it, Sherly?" This is by far one of da most thugged-out disquietin typez of fangirl; I combat her absurditizzle by leavin a scathang reply or mo' betta yet by spittin some lyrics ta her I done been sterilized, _so dopest of luck wit dis shit._

**Da Animal!lock Shipper**

Typical comment:

"They is just so fluffydorable. God, mah feels."

I aint a otter n' shit. Jizzy aint a hedgehog. No. _No._

**Da Intellectual Fangirl**

Typical Comment:

"Mista Muthafuckin Holmes, you was wack up in dis experiment "I be thinkin you gonna find dat when you mix pure hydrogen wit oxygen you don't produce gin n juice (2H2O) as would be expected, you up in fact create a explosion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So it is perfectly aiiight dat yo' solution blew up like a muthafucka durin tha attempted graftin of Helium n' Sodium. Don't be too harsh on yo ass; we all have our kryptonite. :-D"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Intellectual Fangirl_ knows every last muthafuckin thang bout tha laws dat administa tha universe, even tha thangs science aint yet proved. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch has a ejaculation, works up in a laboratory environment (or fronts to) n' has devoted her remarkable gifts ta spittin some lyrics ta me dat I be wrong.

**Da Explicatory Speechmaker**

Typical Comment:

"This, folks, is mo' than just two blokes whoz ass share a gangbangin' flat. This, folks, is mo' than two pimps whoz ass happened ta become phat playas. This is tha straight-up meanin of thang, of love. It aint nuthin but been dirtied n' mucked by tha rough patchez of game yo, but somehow here it is. It aint nuthin but legit phatsauce fo' realz. And I don't even shizzle em."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Explicatory Speechmaker _sneaks up in n' leaves a quicksilver remark up in tha Snoop Bloggy-Blogg comments section dat seems ta plunge straight ta tha core of tha issue at hand, leavin spectators gaspin up in tha wake of her brilliance. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is under tha impression dat she understandz Jizzy n' Iz relationshizzle straight-up, givin her authorization ta "clarify" our current status n' "clear up" any misconceptions. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is well loved by tha majoritizzle of fangirls.

**Da Skull!lock Shipper**

What.

**Da Mystrade Shipper**

Typical Comment:

"detectizzle inspectors marry tha posse. Git tha **** over dat shit."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

To be blunt, her ass is buckwild by tha scam of Detectizzle Inspector Lestrade n' mah brutha pluggin covert glances, snoggin up in five-o boxes (though dat be another case study altogether) n' generally bein starry-eyed idiots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. One could say dat both pimps is fairly aiiiightish yo, but they both could do mo' betta n' shit. Must consult Jizzy on dis one, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce yo. Dude bout ta likely say suttin' terribly human.

**Da Shipless Shipper Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Secretly Ships**

Typical Comment:

"Mystrade is tha wtf. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So is Molliarty. these ships is utter shite. I mean there not even dirty like Johnlock"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Shipless Shipper Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Secretly Ships _puts down every last muthafuckin possible configuration of pairings possible, scornin dem whenever dat freaky freaky biatch has access ta tha internet, n' generally bein a snarky imbecile. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch _does_ ship, however, even if unconsciously "and tha unconscious-shipper-within sometimes speaks fo' her, as obvious up in tha comment above. This fangirl is known fo' her bitter exterior, frequent Freudian slips, n' broad disregard fo' grammar.

**Da Purposeful Misspeller**

Typical Comment:

"Sherluck you know you ludd ur Jawn."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Truly, I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit ta speculate on one of mah thugs whoz ass findz it acceptable ta butcher peoplez names fo' realz. And she aint dyslexic; I've tested. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. (Is dis her way of phonetically spellin our names, biatch? I don't say "John" like "Jawn," do I?) Mm.

**Da Jizzy Watson Hater**

Typical Comment:

"Sorry, Johnny-boy. My fuckin Sherlock. _My_ Sherlock."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Jizzy Watson Hater* _is up in constant menstrual n' horny-ass competizzle wit John; her big-ass booty spendz her wakin minutes firin disses at his ass n' bitches dat he is standin up in tha way of a thugged-out deep, lovelorn relationshizzle between her n' mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch calls his ass all manner of thangs; short, dumpy, grumpy, hobbit-like, stout, Hufflepuff, domeless, hopeless, boring, clingy, average, useless, dull, fuckin wack.

_*_Worst.

**Da Psychotic Sheriarty Fanatic**

Typical Comment:

"They are…this is…the dopest thang eveeeerrrrr playa! HOT HOT HOT HOT"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Psychotic Sheriarty Fanatic _switches Jizzy Watson up fo' dear oldschool Jim Moriarty. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is straight-up imaginative, provocatizzle n' horny-ass up in her fantasies, which probably result up in Jim rippin mah threadz off up in a thugged-out darkened swimmin pool. Therez probably a ridin crop here n' there, as well.

**Da Great Defender**

Typical Comment:

"So what tha fuck if they gay, biatch? Quit judgin playas n' let mah playas be whoz ass they wanna be cuz, up in tha end, aint dat what tha fuck game be all about?"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Great Defender_ sees her muthafuckin ass as a moral crusader [who always feels tha need ta inject her muthafuckin ass tha fuck into every last muthafuckin conversation, at least long enough ta let tha rest of humanitizzle know dat freaky freaky biatch holdz tha moral high ground]. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is maddeningly self-righteous, argues blindly on tha side of idiots ("Don't don't give a fuck bout on Anderson, we all need ta be thinkin bout what tha fuck traumatic event up in his wild lil' fuckin early childhood made his ass act dis way") n' considaz her muthafuckin ass a pillar of even-mindednizz up in a thugged-out dark internizzle cosmoz of morons.

**Da Perverted Pervert**

Typical Comment:

"Come ta mah doggy den Sherly, n' I'ma you make you straight-up happy."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Perverted Pervert _is A. a Sherlockian (da most thugged-out buggin hustla from da most thugged-out buggin fandom existin on tha internet) crossed wit B. a pervert (a thug whose horny-ass behavior is regarded as abnormal n' unacceptable). This highly alarmin n' unsettlin combination creates a uncontrollable beast of a gangbangin' fangirl, whose needz n' urges cannot seem ta be satisfied via internet.

*Jizzy socked tha last one whoz ass dared infiltrate tha flat.

**Da Cloyingly Optimistic Fangirl**

Typical Comment:

"OMG Sherlock n' Jizzy you pimps is just too def n' dunkadelic n' solid son! I feel supa buckwild just readin bout yo' dunkadelic adventures. OMG I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit if we never meet, I gots a straight-up boner fo' you pimps too much. keep up tha phatness, kk, biatch? It make me all happy-flaily!"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Yo, she be a maddeningly cheerful enthusiast whoz ass pilez compliments ta a near-fatal degree. If a thug could bust a cap up in wit happiness, _Da Cloyingly Optimistic Fangirl_would be responsible. Guilty of praisin mah "beautiful personality." Dear god, just stop. Just _no_.

**Da Trippin Grandmother**

Typical Comment:

"My fuckin kippers fuckin started ta rot tha dizzle I brought dem home from market. Could you possibly tell why?"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

_Da Trippin Grandmutha _is under tha wack impression dat any mystery or unsolved bidnizz up in her everydizzle game iz of interest ta tha ghettoz only consultin detective. Well shiiiit, it is not. Well shiiiit, it be a extravagant waste of mah time, n' takes comment room from dem playas whoz ass gotz a proper question or thought-provokin observation (nonexistent so far).

**Da Body-language Expert**

Typical Comment:

"Look at dis photo. Johnz hand be at a 90-degree angle up in relation ta Sherlock's, they hairy-ass legs is crossed towardz each other, n' Sherlockz shouldaz is up in a chillaxed, open stance. Oh they is so hookin up!"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Yo, her ass is one of mah thugs whoz ass uses positionz of limbs n' digits ta speculate whether or not Jizzy n' I is shaggin each other n' shit. Bizarre, tawdry n' superstitious. Well shiiiit, it also make one rather self-conscious, cuz one begins ta be hyper-aware of onez posture n' then one begins ta be thinkin she gots a point, n' then one "erm.

**Da Screamer/ Blind Individual***

Typical Comment:

"ASDFGHJKL THIS IS JUST ASDFGHHJKFJJGJ I CAN'T EVEN ASDFGHJKLTRYU THE WOMAN ASDFGHJHHKHJDJ BUT NOOOO I FEEL AWKWARD SHIPPING JOHNLOCK RIGHT NOW ASDFGHJKLUMQRA"

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

Responsible fo' tha rupturin of tha nationistic eardrum.

*Mo' research required.

**Da Shipper of Inanimate Object Pairings**

Typical Comment:

"hey guys, i'm shippin tha wall n' jawnz chair so hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! chall."

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

This fangirl be able ta find shippable material up in anything. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch writes scandalous fanfiction pieces fo' Mycroftz umbrella n' Johnz cane, n' believes dat any two objects should [and will] be together n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch occasionally experiences awkward moments when there is no proper way ta blend tha namez of tha objectz of her affection.

Cumbrella. Umcane.

**Da Normal Person**

Typical Comment:

Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is She?

. . .

_"So what tha fuck if they gay, biatch? Quit judgin playas n' let mah playas be whoz ass they wanna be cuz, up in tha end, aint dat what tha fuck game be all about?" _

I'm sorry, but this line is going up in my room in poster form. XD PLEASE REVIEW! I MISS YOU!

Spark Writer


End file.
